On South Arica’s Women’s Day, 9th August this year (one year after celebrating the launch of Gentle Like Water, I got to have fun hosting an online retreat for a group of lovely women. I asked Zoe if she would like to write a guest blog about her experience of it and these are her reflections. You can follow Zoe here https://zoegabriellefortuin.substack.com/
My experience of a playshop with Gladys Ryan
A few weeks before my 25th birthday, a dear mentor and friend of mine, Gladys Ryan, invited me and some other amazing women to join her in an “envisioning playshop” (“play” because such activities are not meant to be seen as work) on, 9 August, South African Women’s Day. I immediately agreed to attend. I felt that I was in need of Gladys’ fun, gentle, and safe guidance. Strangely enough, she always shows up to offer such gifts just as I feel I need them.
Although I was excited for this playshop, I also had much else on my mind at the time. For starters, I was planning a big party for my birthday, thinking of more ways I could make money, and doing work on my parents’ farm. The day before the playshop, my mother, brother and I travelled from the farm to Johannesburg. For some very odd reason, my family and I always seem to leave preparation for our winter wood orders till the last minute and on the day we were meant to leave, we also had to pack 25 bags of wood, in turn making us arrive in Joburg much later than we would have liked. The chaos of leaving the farm is unfortunately a tradition I believe will continue and adding two family members to the equation definitely does not make it any easier. To make matters even worse, on that specific day, I had just begun my period and was in much pain and lacked the energy I would usually have to deal with such situations. Certainly not the best conditions to be present and ready for a mindful, early morning experience the next day.
So the day of the playshop came and my mother and I were still very much in our chaotic energy of leaving the farm. I almost wanted to simply cancel the plans to join because, I felt extremely underprepared and drained of energy. But we attended, with our two magazines and the anxiety of not being ready.
We started off with a guided meditation that really helped me come to the present moment and feel into my body. Gladys then guided us to free-write our intentions for the session. Despite my new-found desire to be present in that moment, my free-writing still very much focused on my exterior life and my desire to find work – to be clear about my intentions for my career goals. Gladys guided us to create a circle in the middle of our physical vision boards with either a picture of ourselves or the version of ourselves that we envision. Mine was “Happy Me”. We were encouraged to cut out pictures from our magazines that spoke to our visions and I randomly chose three pictures that had to do with light – a lamp, the word “lightness”, and the phrase “see the light”. The process of choosing and cutting these pictures out, played with my subconscious – I simply chose what I was visually attracted to (so not so random after all). This exercise almost felt like an extension of free writing.
At the end of our session, Gladys offered one of my favourite of her gifts: reading tarot. She drew a card for each of us from her decks. Mine were the “Obstacles and Challenges” card in the reverse and the Throat Chakra card. Both cards with the number 5 attached to them. A sweet affirmation that change is on its way and my obstacles and challenges are about to cease. Interestingly, my last journal entry before attending the envisioning session was about feeling a difficulty to write and thoughts about whether I am indeed a writer. The Throat Chakra card was another little confirmation for me that I am indeed a “real” writer (whatever that means) and my voice is needed in this world.
I initially thought to myself, “What in the world are we going to do for 3 whole hours?”, but in the end, the time felt too short and I longed to stay and work on my vision board for longer.
I didn’t do much work on my vision board immediately after the session and worried that it might end up as one of my many unfinished projects. But the vision board continued to stare at me as time progressed and every time I caught its gaze, I had the urge to add to it. Despite it not being quite what I think Gladys imagined for us, I am quite happy with it now, two weeks later. I owe it to Gladys’ playful intentionality, that she brings to all of her practices, leading me to my board’s completion. I might even say that I am proud of it and excited to see these visions emerge from this page, into my life.
Thanks again for this opportunity.
With love,
Zoe
