Gentle Like Water

Dear Gladys,

Thank you for trusting me to share my review of the book. It has been such a delight for me to connect with Gentle Like Water again. The book feels like a conversation with a wiser, older sister. It balances universality of our human experiences without feeling impersonal. By the time you get to the journaling prompts it feels like you are having a conversation with this woman and telling her “Yes, I want to share this with you.” That is the warmth and safety that comes through in the writing. For me, that is the most special thing about Gentle Like Water. There are two chapters that as I was reading a song came into my head and I started singing… so for me that also speaks to resonance. I feel like the book validates my experiences but not just mine, everyone who reads it and applies it, can encounter themselves. 

Gladys Ryan it is with sincere gratitude that I write to thank you for this gift….whew what a personal read….you have written specifically for me….a path to MY selful SOUL. And the timing is perfect….I am so glad I am only reading it now…..a motivation to continue writing up a reflection piece on my path to MY selful soul….this is amazing…. actually too amazing and touched the deepest part of my soul. Ngyabonga kakhulu Gugu, “…The Girl with the Curl…”

May God bless you and deepen your wisdom.

What a beautiful gift! Thank you, Gladys!

I love the title, Gentle like water (for Men).  The title also reminds me of Bruce Lee’s philosophy and teaching.  He said, “Be water my friend!  Water can flow or it can crash.”  This, in my view, reflects the duality of life, the yin and the yang, the feminine and the masculine.  This book encourages men to embrace their Divine feminine nature and supports them with tools to love and nurture themselves.

I enjoyed reading this book and kept on thinking that if we had this book twenty seven years ago, it could have saved my brother, Graeme’s life. He died by suicide at a time when there was so much stigma around therapy and / getting diagnosed for a mental health condition, for anybody, but more so for young men.  As someone who works with people living with depression and other forms of mental illness, I know that this book is invaluable for men, in particular.  It is like having a therapist on sight.  As someone who has benefited immensely from therapy, I am also aware that psychotherapy is not for everyone and there are many other resources available to us today to support our healing journeys. Gentle Like Water for Men is definitely such a resource.

Most of my work over the last three decades has been with women.  And yet, I believe that I started working for women’s liberation because I had men in my life who have shown me unconditional love, especially my Maternal Grandfather – Pa Sam!  He died when I was five years old, yet he left an indelible mark on my life.  He and my grandmother made sure that I knew that I was deeply loved.  Pa Sam took me everywhere he went; on train rides to his sister in Wolseley, to Karl Bremner and Groote Schuur hospitals for his monthly visits and every Wednesday we went to the bank and the shops in Lady Grey Street in Paarl.  At the time when my grandfather lived, there were no known or visible feminist / women’s rights movements in Paarl.  All I know is that I was never a burden or too much for my Pa Sam.  And I guess he was deeply loved by his parents, especially his mother.  Loving ourselves and those that we are responsible for in this life is really what we are here to do – that’s a big part of our legacy!

Gentle like Water is beautifully written and so true to who Gladys is – keeping it simple and to the point.  I love the simplicity and authenticity.  It is an easy read.  It is an invitation to the reader to be courageous, honest and gentle.  It is a practical book with clear examples on how to start your inner journey.  

Gladys, as the author shares parts of her own spiritual journey, including some of the challenges confronting her.  In this way, Gentle Like Water allays some of the fears the reader may have and affirms boldly, ‘If I can do it, you can do it too!’  She even encourages the reader (grown men) to play with colour! (p38) – that is radical!

I love Gladys’ statement where she says:

“I’m not putting these exercises forward as magic.  I am sharing them as possibilities.  The worst they can do is change your energy or how you show up – and that can be a game-changer.  So even if you don’t believe in chakras, try to work with different colours.  See it as your research, if you must.  Find out what works for you.  This is about you, after all, and finding ways of healing, growing and learning about yourself.”

This is an open invitation to do the work.  It is non-threatening and feels like a safety-net for the reader!

Gentle like water for Men encourages and supports men to journal and to be reflective; to go within and to trust the process.  Gladys’ methodology and practice go against the grain of male dominance (patriarchy), which encourages men to be externally focused.  Institutions upholding male dominant values, often encourage men to focus on their role as providers and discourage them from expressing their feelings and getting in touch with what’s happening inside! Thus, this book is revolutionary, in a quiet and gentle way!  It encourages men to reflect, to journal and to use affirmations. And it even suggests something outrageous, “(to) Rest! And to listen to your body (p35).  Gladys challenges the notion of patriarchal productivity, by suggesting that “We also need to consider what productivity means.  Someone who makes a lot of money is not necessarily more productive than a single parent who works two jobs to take care of their family.” (ibid)

References to the Tarot are educational and stimulate a curiosity in tarot cards.  Gladys shows the reader how the tarot can assist and provide guidance and insights.

My all-time favourite is the suggestion of a gratitude diary!  I know it can work miracles, and Gladys suggests a very simple uncomplicated way of doing it!

Thank you, Gladys! Kai gangans! We are grateful to you for this wonderful book. With Gentle Like Water for men, you have shown us how to approach working with men; from a gentle perspective, no need for boxing gloves! I am sure it will change the lives of many men, and its impact will be felt by entire families. It is revolutionary in its style and approach. Gentle Like Water for Men has the potential to break generational cycles of violence and abuse and can create new ways of being for Men that are loving and authentic.

I had the opportunity to read the book and I think I underestimated the time and the deepness of the material. Very important highlights where the affirmations and the reflections. You journeyed deep into your soul to link up with the message.

We are carrying so much of the past and present unresolved issues; we can’t close anything until we extract revenge or hit back. We carry our own problems and that of those around ours. You offer a different perspective which is absent, you won’t find self-assessment or healing in the print media because it wont sell. People suffer in silence until they explode. The book provides comfort to those whose issues are in isolation. Asking any person in the street about the role of a psychologist he has no idea what they even do. How do we get rid of Black anger in a current day country like ours.

The book has potential to reach a wider audience including those who are incarcerated, and part of their healing begins with the book. It tells a wonderful story to its end its just time place and environment that are individual problems that require individual solutions.

This book I will recommend to anyone who lives with unsettled and unresolved soul. Thank you for the opportunity to go through the book I have been enriched.